Westward Ho!

In 54 days, I'll be moving to New Mexico for a year long fellowship in regional anesthesia!  Whoo hoo!  I'm finally going back to the West.

In 92 days, I'll take the boards (eww), and in 95 days, I start my fellowship.  Who knows what'll happen after that.  I don't know where I want to live when I grow up.

9/11 Again...

It still resonates.  It's still sobering.  The images are still fresh.  I see it on a bigger TV now, but it's like 12 years ago.  I see the people jumping from the TV images and feel as bad now as I did then.  This year, it's also a Tuesday like it was in 2001.  I've progressed in life.  The US has had many changes, some good, and some bad, but it's eerily similar to 2001.  No, I don't have German, nor do I have my Orgo lab, but it causes pause to stop and remember.

I'm watching "102 Minutes that Changed America" on the History Channel.  I didn't watch it live as it happened.  I didn't know that I should have watched it.  It was an early morning for me, and I wanted to sleep.  There would be something on the news later.  This is what got me started watching the Fox News regularly.  I also read newspapers in Australia where I had lived for the summer of 2001.  The show has voices of people who would never be heard from again.

There was a change then.  No one could put their finger on what it was then or what could even happen, but now, it is known as the "Post-9/11 World."  Things are different.  We manage.  Those of us who remember traveling before may always have a hint of annoyance that things aren't what they were.  But I have to think that despite annoying me at the airport, the TSA is helping prevent another event like 9/11.

I thank God for the people who gave their lives to help that day, and I pray for the families affected on this anniversary.  I pray that God is seen through this disaster and the memories of it.  That people seek Him for comfort.  He is there is the midst of this.  He wants us to rely on Him.  Jesus and the Holy Spirit can provide comfort, guidance, and help.  I don't think anyone actually reads this blog, but maybe someone will one day.  These are just my random thoughts while watching a show and remembering...

Jeremiah 29:11

MMMMM.... Fudge

It's not enough that Kraft Marshmallow Creme changed their packaging jars, they also had to go and change the recipe for Fantasy Fudge -- previously the best fudge I had ever had.

Fortunately, when I made it, I was not paying attention to all the instructions due to being super tired, so I didn't notice the difference until I put the chocolate chips in and then noticed the 12oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips was changed to chopped up blocks of semi-sweet chocolate. I couldn't remember the exact amount for the chocolate chips, but I was sure there were chips. I felt like I was taking crazy pills with the new change!

Nevertheless, I continued and added chocolate chips until the color and consistency of the old fudge that I knew and remembered. The recipe I ended up with was a morphed recipe of the old and new fudge recipes, and it turned out pretty well. Part of it has to do with I can't ever remember the temperature to heat things to having lived at so many elevations, but the 234 instead of 240 seemed to work quite well for Milwaukee.

I will continue to at least use the old recipe. Kraft, for shame, it shouldn't have been changed. And I did love the glass jars, they were perfect for storing other things.

Fun Patients Make My Day

On Friday, I had 2 scheduled cases before being on call. The second patient and his wife were very entertaining while I was waiting to go back to the OR with the patient. I had to give him Afrin and nebulized lidocaine treatments before going into the room, and he was just so funny about their descriptions.

He was compliant with taking the medications I asked him to take. Afrin, as he scrunched up his face with disgust, was "just like licking a monkey's foot!" He couldn't tell me how he knew what a monkey's foot tasted like. Then came the lidocaine nebulizer. He took huge breaths to get it over with fast, with a worse face than the Afrin. I was talking with his wife, and I was like, "What do you think this will taste like?" She said matter of factly, "We'll find out shortly, and I'll hear about it for the rest of my life." When he finished the treatment, we found out that lidocaine tastes like "licking a platypus' butt." If I hadn't given him versed, it would've tasted like "licking a rhino's leg." This was all made worse by the glycopyrrolate I had given earlier where I was then making him chew on a cotton ball.

Fortunately, he was very good with doing the treatments, but I'm sure he'll never forget me and the "wonderful" drugs I provided.

9/11/01

It's been almost 10 years. This must be what the JFK assassination was like for my parents. Now they have 2 events where they remember exactly where they were.

I remember exactly where I was. I was a junior in college at the University of Arizona . I was asleep in my dorm room in La Paz. It was dark. I had a later starting class -- a 6 unit German class. I had probably stayed up late the night before, and I was sleeping in as late as possible -- as per usual. When I am awakened from a deep sleep, I am always confused.

Shortly after 0700. The phone rang. My roommate and I ignored it. It must be a mistake, why was someone calling this early when both of us were asleep. A message wasn't left, but the phone rang again. I begrudgingly answered it to make it stop ringing. It was my mom. My mom was frantically calling from Hawai'i very early in the morning.
Mom: "Ashleigh, our government's under attack!"
Me: "Huh? Why is someone attacking Honolulu?" [I pictured a Pearl Harbor like attack on the State Capitol building in Honolulu.]
Mom: "Just turn on the TV!!!"
Me: "Why would Hawai'i be on the news?"
Mom: "Do it now!"

By this point my roommate is confused as to what's going on as I'm getting out of bed to turn on the 13" TV we had in the dorm and find a news station. We saw both towers. This is right after the 2nd tower was hit. We watched for a little bit then we turned off the TV and went back to bed for a few more hours. After we both woke up again for the second time, everything had transpired.

Should I have stayed up and watched TV? Probably. I had my mom asking me how I could've gone back to bed. But I did. I was a 20 year old college student -- basically carefree.

It was what was talked about. We were even allowed to have conversations about it in English during German class. I was relieved that O-chem lab wasn't canceled -- it would've been a hassle to try to make up. I also had the easiest O-chem test on 9/13. My professor blamed 9/11 for not being more creative with questions.

Living at the UofA campus, there was a strange silence after with the lack of planes flying to Davis-Monthan. It was even weirder when they started flying over campus again about 9/15 or so.

Little did I know that having traveled all over the world (getting back from Australia in August 2001) never worrying about plane travel that ever since my first trip on a plane after 9/11 in October 2001, I will always have a seed of thought about "what if..."

Wow, so my 6th winter in Wisconsin is nearly done, and I have 839 days left of residency.

I guess at some point I should start thinking of where I want to go.

The contenders:

Arizona -- Tucson v Phoenix
Tucson -- Wildcat country, neat city, Nico's Tacos, Eegee's
Phoenix -- Scottsdale is nice, Manuel's Mexican food
Pros for both: concealed carry, parents are there

Cons: Terribly allergic to the entire state which would require allergy shots
Phoenix -- Sun Devil Territory... my Arizona, Wildcat enthusiasm wouldn't be appreciated.

California -- Orange v San Diego
Like the suburbiness of Orange County, still have friends there, possible connections at St. Joe's, familiar with the area, still feels like home
San Diego -- great weather

Cons: The state is wasting all their money.

Hawai'i -- Maui
Perfect weather, 2nd home, friends, great food
Cons: island, expensive, liberal

Texas?
Maybe East TX? There's family there, Blue Bell ice cream. I've liked it every time I'm there.

Who knows where I'll end up as of right now.

It's been many years, but I think I finally have something to say. In the past 7 years, I left England after falling hopelessly in love with the country and people, finished up college in Arizona, moved back home to Maui to be a phlebotomist (worst year ever), went to medical school in the Middle (aka the Midwest -- it's all just about the same: snowy, flat, and people with funny accents), and now been a doctor for over a year which brings me to:

I survived intern year (just barely) doing time in a year of pediatrics at a busy top ranked children's hospital. Actually, it was beyond busy. Finding time to breathe was a plus, and the whole "eat when you can, pee when you can, sleep when you can" was definitely true. I even had medical students get on my case for not having eaten since breakfast; they said my Trader Joe's fruit leathers or caffienated Sports Beans (thank you Jelly Belly) didn't count as a meal.

Needless to say, I did make it through the year, despite the many times that I just wanted to hide in my sock drawer and sleep for days. I guess I did learn something seeing that I am no longer terrified of children, and I can unwrap a baby and wrap them back up. I am still leery about picking up a baby. I like kids who are interactive and fun. And I feel even more strongly that kids shouldn't be sick... thanks to my time in the HOT unit (heme/onc/transplant). (One of the strongest kids I met was a 4 year old with cancer. He had more energy than everyone in the unit, he ran circles (literally) around the nurses' station. I tried playing with him one night while I was on call, and at 10pm, I was tired... he was an Energizer Bunny.) Every time a new diagnosis of cancer came in, I wanted to cry; and I learned that there is a fine line between doing something to someone and not for them.

Now I'm off to the land of anesthesia. It's definitely a different course than I had anticipated for myself even 2 years ago, but it will work out. Three more years of residency, then off to attending-hood. Who knows what'll happen between now and then (aside from many nights in the hospital, passing gas, waking up early in the morning...). I guess I'll find out as I go along the road. Here's to 30 June 2013!